Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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