A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
