i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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