Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
