so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
