Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
