i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
