I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
