How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize