Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
