Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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