My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
