They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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