People in love make me want to vomit
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
