i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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