I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
