so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
