whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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