Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
