I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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