Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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