Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
