Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
