she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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