you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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