But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
