I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
