We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
