Ambien. No doubt about it.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
