Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
