Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
