I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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