there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
