Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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