can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
