And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
