Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
