Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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