singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
