You're completely useless in the revolution.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
