don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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