he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I need water and some morals
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
