I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
