He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
