fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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