i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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