I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
