Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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