yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
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