I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
