I love black thongs
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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