yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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