Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize