I have demons in me.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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