I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
