He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
